Never Post a Complete List of Isaac Asimov’s Works


“There are rules. Some are written, and some remain unwritten.” Judge Clare said patiently. She removed her glasses and massaged the bridge of her nose.

“And I’m to believe I violated one of the unwritten rules.” Uther Banks stated flatly.

Judge Clare sighed. “You’re inquisitive. I know you’ve done a lot of research. You must know what percent of the entertainment sector is tied to Isaac Asimov.”

“That depends.” Uther replied slowly. “I mean, are you counting the works that-”

“I’m counting any of the works attributed to him.” Judge Clare interjected.

Uther frowned. “You understand that it would have been impossible for him to write tens of thousands of novels over the course of his life, right? Even if he started at age three, worked twenty hours a day, and lived to 100, he wouldn’t have-”

“-That’s not what I’m asking.” Judge Clare snapped. “Look, it’s a very simple question. Of all the media in popular culture today, how much of it is based on a work attributed to Asimov.”

“About three-quarters of it.” Uther answered.

“He’s left behind an incredible legacy and is quite popular. His name carries a lot of weight. In your research, you must’ve come across the book ‘Iron-Clad Brain’.”

“Of course.”

“So you know that despite it being in the public domain for centuries, very few people ever bothered to read it.”

“Until it was mistakenly reported as being one of Asimov’s recently discovered lost works.” Uther finished.

Judge Clare nodded. “And you know what happened to its sales after that?”

Uther pointed skyward. “They went through the roof.”

“My local bookstore had a months-long waiting list just to buy a copy.” Judge Clare said.

“You know it wasn’t really written by him, right? It was originally compiled with an AI, but after that initial buzz from that erroneous report, it was given to one of his descendants to advertise.”

“I don’t know that.” Judge Clare’s lips were growing dangerously thin. “And neither do you.”

“But I do know-”

“Stop!” Judge Clare exclaimed. “Enough.”

Uther fell silent.

Judge Clare regarded him for a moment. “If you’ve done your research, and I know you have, you’ll know that book alone led to four movies, twelve different tele-series, a stage play, forty-seven art installations, and multiple rides and attractions at Sci-Fi World Parks across every planet in the human empire. What do you think would happen if people suddenly learned that book wasn’t written by Asimov? Do you think there’d be people clamoring for a fifth movie? Do you think those rides and attractions would be featured so prominently in their parks?”

Uther frowned.

“Well?” Judge Clare asked.

“So you’re asking me to lie?”

“No. I’m asking you to think about all the people who enjoyed those movies and plays and works of art. I want you to consider all the jobs that would be lost if that intellectual property suddenly stopped being so important.” Judge Clare picked up a small stack of papers and gestured at Uther with them. “Earlier this week, you weren’t thinking about those things. You were thinking about which books were written by Asimov before his natural death, and those written after, and in your thoughtless state you felt it important to create and share a list differentiating the two.”

“So that’s why I’m being charged?” Uther asked. “Because I wanted the world to know the truth?”

“The truth.” The judge repeated. “The truth’s a bit funny. Socrates was punished for revealing what he thought was the truth about reality. Galileo was punished for revealing what he thought was the truth about the Solar System. Grex-Phindler was punished for revealing what he thought was the truth about the Ruby-Rust mines of Mars.”

“And all of them were later vindicated.” Uther snapped.

“After their deaths? Sure, they were vindicated. During their lives, however, they shared knowledge that was considered incorrect at best and dangerous at worst. In each case humanity wasn’t ready for what they wanted to say, and they suffered for it. I don’t want to see the same happen to you.”

Uther said nothing, but Judge Clare eventually broke the silence.

“I don’t think I need to tell you how powerful the entertainment industry is, and it doesn’t take imagination to consider all the ways those titans of commerce can make your life hell.”

“I’ve done nothing illegal.” Uther replied defiantly.

Judge Clare gave a barking laugh. “You think there aren’t a million ways they can get to you within the law? They can use their journalists to reveal your name, address, and place of business to angry subscribers. They have a thousand experts on their payroll who’d be more than happy to cast doubt on your claims and turn you into a social pariah. You’ll be kicked out of polite society and made an example of for anyone else hoping to find the quote-unquote “real” works of Asimov.”

“So what, I’m just supposed to stay silent? Let the truth die?”

Judge Clare gave him a sympathetic look. “The truth won’t die. That’s the thing about the truth… It exists regardless of whether or not people acknowledge it, but sometimes they aren’t ready to. Someday enough people will be ready, and when they are, the truth will sprout and blossom and spread. People will hear the truth and turn toward it, not away from it, and the progenitors of it won’t be punished nearly so harshly. Sadly for you, that time has not yet come. Anything you say now regarding Asimov’s complete works will be ignored and mocked, and you’ll spend the rest of your life wishing you’d just kept silent.”

“You don’t know that.”

Judge Clare cocked an eyebrow. “Do you really think you’re the first person who’s given me this list? Do you really think others haven’t figured out that Asimov couldn’t have possibly created all the novels attributed to him?” She shook her head. “I see this list a handful of times each year whenever other intrepid truth-seekers are brought before me. Each time I warn them to remain silent… Some do, some don’t. The ones who remain silent get to sit on their secret knowledge and live happy, fulfilled lives. Many are often given jobs in the entertainment industry for their compliance. The others… Well…” She shrugged. “A life of shattered social ties and constant inconvenience.”

Uther eyed her skeptically. “If that’s true, why haven’t I ever seen this list anywhere else?”

She handed the papers back to Uther, who slowly accepted them.

Exactly.” She answered.